So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
