Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We have so much sex to catch up on
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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