It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
