Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
