I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
