he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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