I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
