I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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