so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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