i just wanna soil my oats bro
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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