We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
