why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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