Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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