im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
