You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
