he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
