Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
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Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
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These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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