Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
