I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
FUCK WHALES
Randomize