i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just had sex on a roof
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
