I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
