I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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