As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
