When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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