maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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