I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
