He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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