Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
