forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
