How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
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i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions