I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them