my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs