Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Crying babies in a bar. Really?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.

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  (708): Crying babies in a bar. Really? (708): And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden. http://tfl.nu/e52e
  Replies (10) Good night (551) Bad night (2435)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.

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  (850): You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist. http://tfl.nu/9a73
  Replies (18) Good night (2141) Bad night (739)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.

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  (651): The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off. http://tfl.nu/d6pj
  Replies (188) Good night (742) Bad night (4720)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"

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  (302): He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!" http://tfl.nu/6j56
  Replies (34) Good night (1479) Bad night (4768)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child

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  (817): just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child http://tfl.nu/48ux
  Replies (31) Good night (8022) Bad night (1490)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.

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  (757): Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well. http://tfl.nu/ul8d
  Replies (12) Good night (5212) Bad night (1503)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do

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  (330): you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do http://tfl.nu/wb06
  Replies (13) Good night (2241) Bad night (1529)
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  (845): View more from New York

  What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know

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  (845): What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know http://tfl.nu/y6wb
  Replies (5) Good night (4347) Bad night (1211)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.

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  (412): Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country. http://tfl.nu/04vq
  Replies (18) Good night (5787) Bad night (876)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.

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  (316): He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed. http://tfl.nu/yb8r
  Replies (5) Good night (2352) Bad night (753)
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  (716): View more from New York

  She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..

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  (716): She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet.. http://tfl.nu/0ox8
  Replies (4) Good night (2181) Bad night (992)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.

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  (845): Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent. http://tfl.nu/xb5q
  Replies (5) Good night (2158) Bad night (549)
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  (831): View more from California

  think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.

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  (831): think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout. http://tfl.nu/imuz
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (314)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap

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  (+44): I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap http://tfl.nu/nfma
  Replies (2) Good night (551) Bad night (236)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.

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  (347): I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical. http://tfl.nu/o6lg
  Replies (7) Good night (670) Bad night (288)

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