Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly

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  (703): never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly http://tfl.nu/n7qz
  Replies (56) Good night (4131) Bad night (958)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.

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  (914): Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart. http://tfl.nu/xtrr
  Replies (13) Good night (3620) Bad night (1089)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over

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  (608): I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over http://tfl.nu/rs0c
  Replies (32) Good night (1610) Bad night (5592)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  What?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a yeast infection.

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  (314): I'm bakin' bread in my pussy! (1-314): What? (314): I have a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/o2ns
  Replies (180) Good night (2339) Bad night (28910)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.

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  (770): His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution. http://tfl.nu/sbqf
  Replies (21) Good night (6203) Bad night (1088)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted

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  (808): he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted http://tfl.nu/o6gq
  Replies (7) Good night (1052) Bad night (1904)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.

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  (740): This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod. http://tfl.nu/pyaj
  Replies (9) Good night (1941) Bad night (726)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."

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  (859): I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital." http://tfl.nu/3xux
  Replies (7) Good night (4519) Bad night (915)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?

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  (719): If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies? http://tfl.nu/dbdn
  Replies (9) Good night (1919) Bad night (649)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...

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  (713): I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year... http://tfl.nu/git3
  Replies (5) Good night (1425) Bad night (730)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless

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  (914): Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless http://tfl.nu/meln
  Replies (5) Good night (1161) Bad night (491)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...

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  (303): We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes... http://tfl.nu/lait
  Replies (6) Good night (578) Bad night (1415)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out

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  (519): Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out http://tfl.nu/ezsq
  Replies (18) Good night (2382) Bad night (625)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.

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  (678): Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are. http://tfl.nu/af34
  Replies (4) Good night (814) Bad night (399)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends

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  (775): New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends http://tfl.nu/xgyo
  Replies (4) Good night (940) Bad night (320)

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