I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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