no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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