you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
