i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
