On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
