ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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