The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I've blown a few things in my day
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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