Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
