fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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