was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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