Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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