Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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