You know, be my cock's hype man.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
