And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
