I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
