I wannas sexs uuuuu
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize