Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
