She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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