It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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