It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
