There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
