Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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