This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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