i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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