too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My vagina just clenched in fear
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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