STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
