Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
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giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
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Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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