yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
