I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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