worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
