I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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